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Huckabee Sanders Claims Playing Cohen Tape Backward Reveals Hidden Message Exonerating Trump From All Wrongdoing

WASHINGTON—Explaining that the release of the secretly recorded conversation between Donald Trump and Michael Cohen could not have come at a better time, Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated Wednesday that playing the tape backward reveals a hidden message exonerating Trump from any misconduct. “I can confirm that if you play these recordings backward and at half speed, you can clearly hear the voice of Barack Obama saying, ‘We should frame Donald Trump so people think it was him, not me, who had all those extramarital affairs,’ and then Cohen saying, ‘You’re my best client, Barack,’” said the White House press secretary, adding that if you turn the treble all the way up and listen closely around the tape’s six-minute mark, you can make out former Democratic National Committee chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz instructing staffers to steal hacked email servers. “President Trump is actually quite grateful for the release of this tape, as it provides conclusive proof that investigations into his financial transactions and personal life are merely witch hunts meant to distract Americans from the real issues. Try it at home and hear the truth for yourself.” Huckabee Sanders went on to add that, later in the tape, one hears the voices of both Bill and Hillary Clinton confessing to the murder of Vince Foster.

Source: The Onion.  God Bless ’em.

Long Night at Wrong Beach

July 31, 1980 ~  Alan Cranston is running for the Senate and calls on The Eagles to help. They oblige and hold a fundraising concert in Long Beach, California to support Cranston. The Eagles had been fuming for while with Don Felder and Glenn Frey cussin’ and feuding through the whole show – Frey caught on mike saying “only a few more songs before I kick your fuckin’ ass.”

It turned out to be the last concert for The Eagles until their infamous “Hell Freezes Over” tour 14 years later – the name taken from Henley’s exclamation after that Long Beach show when asked by a reporter when we’d see the next live Eagles concert:  “It’ll happen when hell freezes over.”